Connection Doesn’t Happen On its Own
When I served as cancer survivorship coordinator at the St. Charles Cancer Center, there were a number of amazing volunteers who helped us manage some really great programs that benefitted our patients and their families.
One such volunteer was a Licensed Massage Therapist. Michelle approached us with an idea that would marry her two passions—a weekly meet-up for cancer survivors that would encourage more movement, in this case, walking.
My kind of person.
Michelle’s 6-week class included basic instruction, followed by warming up before splitting into different levels of difficulty with mentors per level. And last, but certainly not the least important aspect: gathering afterwards for coffee.
We named the class Walking for Wellness. My job representing St. Charles was to make sure our crew behaved reasonably well in public. The jury’s still out.
After two or three weeks of walking with this rowdy bunch and seeing how important the coffee aspect was, I’m thinking we should have named it Jaunt and Java.
Or Meander and Morning Mud.
Or how about this: Daily Gait and Daily Grind. That could work.
It wasn’t just about the outdoor movement for cancer patients after treatment, as important as that was. Michelle helped us discover that the building-community piece was just as critical as the physical activity component.
I’ve since read a book recommended by Michelle titled, The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker.
Parker wrote:
“Connection doesn’t happen on its own. You have to design your gatherings for the kinds of connections you want to create.”
The Walking for Wellness meet-ups were about cancer survivors and caregivers drawing strength and encouragement from each other, knowing that they weren’t alone on the cancer journey, that there were some pretty terrific people also traveling that path.
When the 6-week class ended, no one wanted to quit, including Michelle, our rock star coach. The numbers stayed strong for a few years until, alas, COVID effectively shut down the W4W team from meeting in person, although Michelle encouraged us to continue walking.
By the time COVID ran its course, a couple members of the group had passed away, a couple members had moved some distance, and Michelle was busy building her business as a Licensed Massage Therapist and a health and running coach: Ceiling: Unlimited.
Which meant that the group didn’t meet in full. But individuals met and walked. And met and helped split and stack firewood. And met for coffee and pastries from time to time.
One of our members, Nancy, took it upon herself to keep us connected via text. Every morning, bright and early, we receive a text from Mother Hen Nancy with a meme speaking to the importance of friendship, or prompting us to be grateful, or a reminder that Valentine’s Day or St. Patrick’s Day was coming up.
From time to time, members drop in photos of first snowfall, and first spring flowers, and first great-grandbabies.
Which means we’re still keeping up with each other every day at 7:00am.
There’s a verse in Hebrews that refers to gathering:
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another.” – Hebrews 10:24-25
In addition to health and wellness, get-togethers are for mutual encouragement. Celebrating a milestone event. Practicing the art of listening. Nourishing each other with food and friendship. Learning from each other.
In her book, Priya Parker wrote:
“In democracies, the freedom to assemble is one of the foundational rights granted to every individual. In countries descending into authoritarianism, one of the first things to go is the right to assemble.
“Why? Because of what can happen when people come together, exchange information, inspire one another, test out new ways of being together.”
Wow, put that in your thinking cap and ruminate on it for a while. And see if it doesn’t move us toward appreciating—and not taking for granted—the freedom to congregate and love on each other.
